In thinking about it, I would ask to go completely paperless as well.
Not just for my business, I would like to completely remove all of the paper from my whole life! I seem to always be behind in my filing and I hate having to sort thru the mail and shredding anything that has personal information on it.
Can I add one more thing? (I've been extra nice this year)
Please send me competant, motivated employees that aren't blue flamers (0 to meteoric heights then back to 0 again in no time flat), guys that don't drink, smoke pot, nor have family problems. Workers that have reliable transportation and remember to set their clocks forward when they are supposed to. Oh yeah and send me a dozen alarm clocks to hand out with bonuses. Thank you.
I am so sorry but we are fresh out of stock of employees with all of those features as they have all become self employeed as small business men and women.
If you would care to consider some recent additions that we do have in the employment pool I can offer you a couple of hard workers who do not have papers in order to legally work in your country and who cannot understand your directions because they speak another language. Or I can offer a semi retired slightly used and abused 70 year old who now finds that he can no longer afford to live off of his retirement that he worked so hard for. However, I do have to admit that I am seriously considering hiring the old guy myself since I cannot get the elves to work without union benefit any longer.
You guys are hilarious! As I was reading the first post all I could think about was how to get a great employee from Santa....I continued reading and now I can hardly type for laughing. Sad though that it is so true!!!!!
I just want a winning lottery ticket ($500K minimum please)
All you have to do to get one of those Celeste is to work at a store that sells lottery tixs, when the winners come in tell em that they were losers........... oh wait! That was already tired and they just caught the guy (that is AFTER he bilked a couple of poor suckers out of their winnings)
If i could ask for anything it would be the same as the rest of you guys but i have to say that i have been blessed with 3 really good hard working guys. Just wish that i could find like 3 more without all the drama!! Less paper work would be a thing i could shout about-- but the thing i wish most is GETING THE STICKING CHECKS if i could collect faster thats all i want for christmas
Seems like everybody here, so I'll say this I wish to fire my boss this year and be able to take a vacation before Christmas which I haven't had in last seven years, only because I've been working for somebody else all this time.