I appreciate your honesty. I can relate to much of what you said. I used to be very overweight. Very! In 2003 I had a gastric bypass and it was almost TOO successful. Now, believe it or not, I have trouble keeping weight ON! I am underweight right now, and I am having trouble gaining back the weight. Weird but true. Having the surgery was a good thing. But I also pay by having the usual sequelae of that kind of surgery: osteoporosis, kidney stones, etc. I am not sorry I did it, because if I hadnt I would probably be dead now. I just kept gaining weight, all through the years working as an RN. Bigger and bigger until I could hardly move or breathe. Enough, I said, and got the surgery.
You are still young, in the medical world. 40 is considered young nowadays. I am 67, and even THAT isnt considered "old." But I do get "Senior Citizen" benefits. LOL !I dont feel 67 or act it or look it, I think. I honestly believe that what is keeping me young is my work, because it IS so physical. Lugging around vacuum cleaners, bags of supplies, mopping grubby floors, - all of it helps keep my joints moving. My hands are very arthritic - especially my left hand (I am a leftie). But it doesnt stop me. I wont let it. When I was slowly recovering from my major illlness/surgery, I started cleaning my own home, because I looked around and saw how grubby it had gotten. This was not easy because I was still using a walker, for crying out loud! But I tried, and kept trying. I made a lot of silly mistakes, but that is how you learn. Cleaning was my personal form of therapy....and it still is!
I am glad you have found another way to earn money. Teaching has to be VERY stressful, much like Nursing is. Tons of pressure, poor pay, and not enough respect. I dont think I could be a teacher, so its wonderful that you can be. But sometimes, we all have to back away from something we love doing, if it is hurting us. Nurses, teacher and cops - all similar positions in that respect. Good for you for beinig able to admit, and see, what your job was doing to you. Time to take a break from it, and you have. Cleaning also has its stresses, but if you run your own business, you can control that stress much better.